That I shall continue to trust, in His pattern.
The way He works, the way He has held me, these past two years here in Durham.
It is a precarious edge I do take, but then again, there isn’t ever certainty, nor stability, in this life.
I think great comfort came, and overwhelmed me, in little moments through the days.
Not only did God very graciously tide me through the 4-hour research booster session which allowed for peers to contribute and share their thoughts on one another’s research projects (a well endeavour indeed, fostering a sharing, rather than protective environment so often plaguing this neoliberal human society), I had gained increasing surety about the steps I would be heading. I do feel as though I am walking on a tightrope, but its OK, there is no further I may fall. Its as if its bouncy castles 🙂
Lunch today at Keenan House where Aunty BK resides had been nothing short of being tremendously encouraging. It had been a nice clear midday noon, I hopped into her car and we were headed off.
Over a bowl of hot chicken-egg broth mixed with noodles, as I shared my testimony and how Good He had been as I grew up here, as I recalled, one-by-one, how He had shaped and grown and continues to mould me: the faith of Abraham and its parallels with the steps I had carefully taken in my life, days/dates out with God, how He had opened my eyes to what it means to love in His world, to feel and to know His heart (and still, still, ever learning, greatly humbled that all I’ve seen is but a mere glimpse of its Wide Expanse), all the way through, leading right up to where I was in the present moment. I thank God that Aunty BK could see exactly where I had been coming from, and how I thought the way I did, and how He had been moving in this life of mine.
It was strangely therapeutic, as I remember in my heart, the words of Aunty BK:
“Well, its never a matter of place isn’t it, where you are never matters, its about the heart”
“You know, those instant conversations you have with God when its just you and Him – He replies so fast, unlike human persons who must, you know, take time and think”
“There was no peace in my heart, until I decided I would say yes. I had my answer then, because I had said Yes, not to man – whilst it was yes to him – but no, that strange peace because my Yes was directed to the Lord”
She had shared about how strangely divine it had been. That it would have been her I would be sharing with, who could feel that excitement at what I would be looking into, who would, if God’s grace so be, have the opportunity to introduce me to a lady called Angela, one whom had a heart, a heart to minister, a heart for the lost. Others too, good and wise men of the LORD, whom I could possibly discuss where I was at with, this research endeavour.
That had been of great encouragement to me. I read, yes I do, and in the words of men and women very blessed to minister through writing I have and continue to find great comfort in this pilgrim journey, yet, it is always nice. It is always nice, to talk to real human mentors. We’re people, after all. Or are we? 😉
It had been lovely to hear Aunty BK’s walk with the Lord, all decades of it, and how God had taken her through so much, through til today, today, here in Durham.
There would have been no way God would have allowed our paths to meet.
I was dropped off home at 15 Lambton Street, a heart greatly encouraged, and a heart greatly comforted. This year ahead, I can trust Him 🙂
The evening had been filled with a great time in Cathy’s humble home in Gilesgate as Nicola & I made, under her patience guidance, a whole host of pork-mushroom dumplings. I had returned late at night, a tummy warmed with handmade dumplings both boiled and fried, dipped in vinegar, dipped in a variety of sauces, and am very thankful to God, for good conversation as we kneaded, chopped, threaded, and dipped.
It had been one very blessed evening – I know He is working in ways yet unknown to me, yet too, dear Christian, we persevere in faith. Please do, if you feel compelled too, pray alongside me as both Cathy and Nicola continue to come to church events, that they would come to know of His saving Love in Christ Jesus.
Freshly grown, these spring onion were indeed! 🙂
I cannot seem to find the words to express at this late hour, but that, God’s grace had indeed wonderfully, sufficiently, brought me through this day, and I rest now, I rest here,
with a heart filled, a heart filled with great encouragement.
A little leaf I had found, which I discovered, had stuck fast onto my boot as I returned home.
Home to Lambton Street, and Home to my Father.
Recognize ‘Who’? I don’t catch the series myself, but Sarah Gilbert had most graciously brought along a tub of shaped biscuits at TnT on Wednesday.
The Bible passage that evening, this in particular, had spoken volumes to my soul:
“On one occasion, while the crowd was pressing in on Him to hear the word of God, he was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, and He saw two boats by the lake, but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, He asked him to put out a little from the land. And He sat down and taught the people from the boat. And when He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at Your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” For He and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken, and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon.
And Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be fishers of men.’
And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed Him.”
Luke 5:1-11, ESV
God speaks, He has spoken.
He has spoken, very much indeed.
At Your Word, LORD,
“The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.”
– Oswald Chambers